Lesson Learned

So I'm not an angel...never claimed to be but feelings happened years before and just seem to get even more complicated. I liked my friend, he liked me, messed around and it was a cycle. I ended it, he got married, he rubbed it in my face, I wanted to punch him, marriage didnt last a yr, they separated and he starts calling me. I try to help him sort through his feelings, being there for him and in the end, I get kicked to the curb. Used in all aspects but I got back up from the fall and became stronger. Knowing all along I am better than what he was barely giving me and one day I decided that I was done. I was done, he didnt want what I wanted so it is what it is. He claimed he wasnt ready for a relationship and maybe 3 or 4 months later, he was with a chick, out of state. We started messing around again, before I knew about her and it was strictly on some lets chill, no feelings----to fast forward that was the just of our relationship until he decided to move out of state with her, but we had stopped chillin hard back in Dec. Anyway we saw each other recently, we dont see each other often and dont talk often but he tries to take it back there. This particular blog is in response to a comment that he made. "Back in 2007, you didnt care if I was technically went someone so whats the difference?" The difference is, you bastard, I want more. You want everything else but a relationship, which is what I want so why should I give you what you want? Why should I repeat history? You had the chance to be with me and have what I had to offer and you passed, so I think I will do the same. You damn right, I am a tease to you bc I want you to suffer, more than you already claim. I want you to think about what you could have constantly and yes this is wrong and my evil side but what can I say?? He tried to hurt me from that comment---I thought about it bc that wasnt a proud moment but I didnt want to respond bc I dont want him to think he has that control of me. I am not the same person I was in 07. You made me toughen up and I thank you for the shhhhiiii you put me through and lesson learned baby. May you continue to fiend for me and I continue to find the blessing God has for me. My mistake for even entertaining you and your mess. Its not a proud moment and I pray for forgiveness. Its obvious our friendship cant be revived bc you forgot how to just be my friend. I love you but I cant let you continue to try and hurt me bc everytime you find a lil something I'm put on the back burner and when stuff turns sour, you come back----come back to the affection you claim you dont get at home. Well its not my problem and I'm tired of guys using my because their homefront isnt straight. Thats not my job and I'm not claiming that title...Sorry.

"Youve Just Ran Across My Mind"

I guess the guys from my past have been killing Jill Scott CD because it seems like I keep hearing the same tune when they call me. I find that no matter what I went through with the person, they all have the balls to hit me up. Usually, its the ones where I had the most drama that comes back and its beyond old. What makes it old is the fact that they expect to get back to how it was or try to make it seem like OMG I couldnt get you off my mind...HA are you serious??? Have you not met me??? I dont fall for lines. Come at me on some REAL ish please. SN Guys if you think ladies like me fall for it bc we give you a chance, chances are we looked past the lame lines and wanted to talk to you beforehand lol. I have this guy now...real cool dude, from what I remembered has popped up a year later. I mean given I was with a sorry excuse for a "man" last year, when he popped up the first time but I mean dont make it seem like Ive always been on your mind and you just want to be with me sooo bad. Dont be extra and tell me that you would move down here for me and take care of me blah blah blah. You have a lot of other situations going on and who knows what you do on the road. I dont have time for here and there Janee' time, I'm not with it. Anyway I've had waaaaaaayyyyyy too many pop ups recently and just about all of them are on the same BS, which makes it that much easier not to fall into that giant hole of "wasted time" again. If you want me, show and prove babe---dont try my gangsta and think you can just see me once, compliment me and then try to get in good, for the goods. It didnt work the first time around so why even go there. Maybe they guys were just getting ready for the concert tonight LMAO so they can get that song out of their head