Wondering...

I wonder what it would be like to be with you...would it be awkward? would it be everything I want it to be? I'm wondering if I want you because I'm so use to crappy dudes in my life, so is that the only reason you look appealing? Or are you really the one I want, been looking for? Its funny because I feel like I have to fake the funk, in order to be around you. I like you but I put you in the homeboy zone, when I'm around you. When I'm not, I'm constantly thinking about the sweet gestures you do, without question, listening to my craziness, being there for me when other dudes do me wrong...we are ridiculously close, you know waaaay too much information about me...we love each other, but is it just you being my bestfriend or are you feelin' me a lil bit? When I think abt the physical aspect its very cloudy lol....dont know if it would be awkward or what...this is just crazy, ridiculous, old and sad bc its been 5 years of us really getting to know each other and I still dont know if he ever looked or looks at me at anything other than his bestfriend. I think due to our closeness the transition would be easy but the romantic aspect is a lil scary when i think about it jokingly and seriously lol. We clearly connect, I'm just wondering how. I just know that if he gets with anybody, I'll be pissed!!! The End lol